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The Kassie Cult

Though he may fail as he vies for fame and glory
He tries so hard in each and every story.
That's Tennessee Tuxedo in his tales.
That's Tennessee Tuxedo and his tales

In every era there is always an emblematic figure whom the public chooses to represent some sector of human achievement.

In the American business world, Rockefeller was once the man who captured the popular imagination. More recently, Ted Turner was the business icon. And, now of course, it's Donald Trump.

In Canada, the best known businessman has, for some time, been newspaper baron, Conrad Black.

But Lord Black has fallen on hard times of late and we believe that renegade banker, David Kassie, is well-positioned to take his place.

Once a person becomes the object of a cult, people begin to sift through his childhood looking for indicators of his future accomplishments.

This must be a very important activity because when they can't find any indicators, people invent them.

Dan'l Boone killed a bar when he was three years old. George Washington chopped down the cherry tree. You know the routine.

We must assume, therefore, that the incipient power of David Kassie's symbolic image was revealed this week when the Globe & Mail started reporting on his childhood antics .

Apparently, young Davey was obsessed by an old cartoon show.

Tennessee Tuxedo was a Communist penguin who was always agitating to get better conditions in the zoo.

He would regularly announce that "Tennessee Tuxedo will not fail!" But his schemes always did fail whereupon he would turn to Phineas J. Whoopie who would teach him some simple scientific principles on his 3-D blackboard.

Tennessee would declare, "Phineas J. Whoopee, you're the greatest!" And, then he would fail again.

Young Kassie used to claim that Mr Whoopie, like he himself, was actually from the constellation Pleiades. And he would complain that it was an incredible strain to act like an ordinary human being on a regular basis.

As if in proof of this complaint, young Davey could often be found rocking back and forth repeating tag lines from the show with an incredible intensity.

He was also known to chant, "Who's milking the cow?" and "Malabar, Malabar, Malabar!"

Actually, we've also heard that Kassie was equally impressed by another fictional character and that the original name for Genuity Capital Markets was, in fact, Dudley Kane Enterprises after a business in a famous Canadian novel set in Kassie's hometown of Montreal.

Whatever their level of authenticity, Canadian Headhunter appreciates such stories and welcomes others about the secondary Genuity players, as well.

Not for any vulgar reasons, of course, but as part of the commonplace study of what makes great men tick.

So, if Dan Daviau liked Quick Draw McGraw, we want to know. And if Dr Phil Evershed never practiced medicine, we want to know that too.

As for Kassie's iconic status, we suspect that all he has to do to to assure it now is to buy a basketball team (obviously The Raptors) and marry a model.

And, as for the latter, we suggest that he could do no better than the stunning Mitsou Gelinas the former pop tart who was recently appointed Quebec's ambassador to the mainland by the CBC.

And, finally, a prediction: in two years time, Andy Willis of the Globe & Mail will publish a book on the Genuity-CIBC battle.

Canadian Headhunter will appear in the footnotes as the only blog that took a rabid interest in its every turn and that will be our only claim to fame before we, ourselves, fade into glory.

See Also: GenuityGang Strikes Back -- CIBC Recruiting Scandal -- David Kassie, Kingpin -- David Kassie's Dream -- Dan Daviau -- Earl Rotman -- Kassie Defiant -- Phil Evershed -- Hirst, Morrison, Eggertson -- Marie Cordero -- Bad 4 Recruiters -- Sweet Marie -- The Kassie Cult -- Kassie Honoured -- Hunkin's Millions -- BlackBerry Got 'Em -- Kassie Family Hunted -- Blackberry Mystery Solved -- The Genuity Revolution -- Technorati Tag: Genuity