Overfed & Undernourished

Resume Verbiage Out!

More than half of all resumes are morbidly obese

So says the Canadian Resume Society.

It's a tragedy, I know. But we can help.

Listen, friends, answer this question.
Do you know what a resume is?
Here, I'll help you.

A resume is a small space in which you
have to write your life story.

Now, answer this question.
Do you know what verbiage is?
That's OK. I'll help you again.

Verbiage is the use of TOO MANY WORDS! Get it?

Now, if you know the answers to those two questions,
why are you writing like this?

    Efficiently communicated project changes.
    Successfully completed projects.
"I efficiently did this and I successfully did that".

Listen here, you adverbaholics!

If you put something in your resume, I assume it was successful and efficient. You don't have to tell me every two seconds!

And no matter what you write, you know I'm going to ask you for proof! (Which you probably won't be prepared to give).

So don't fill up your precious space with this braggadacio.
It's not efficient. And it's not successful.
It's excessive. And it's dumb.

Think about it. Now, don't you agree?
Come on, friends, cut the fat!
You'll be helping everyone.
But especially yourselves.

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